Back In The Saddle AgainNo, Not That One

One of the things about work that is always in constant curiosity is co-workers. In the world of Security, this can be in constant flux. The reason for this is that most people that jump into security just don't have what it takes for it. Not necessarily because its too hard, but they are disappointed to find out its not like in the movies where you just sit back in your chair, watch reruns of Knight Rider and sleep. You actually have to do things like; rounds, interact with employees, deal with rule changes, deal with employees who think that somehow you are behind those rule changes and so on. If know that doesn't sound so bad, you haven't worked security at a site full of people from all walks of life or attitude. Nor have you clearly had to work every damn holiday for the past decade.

Now, one of the biggest problems as a security guard can be the fellow guards that come in to relieve you or you come in to relieve. The reason behind this, not all of them are easy to get along with, let alone ones you want to get along with. Some of you that have been around for a while might remember I've done plenty of posts on past guards I have worked with, one so wonderful I even created a word for his actions: Richardisms. Which I have wanted to post a few more, not all done by the holder of the name mind you, I just haven't done so.

For a while, the people I have had to deal with haven't been all that bad, but for a few weeks not to long ago, I had to deal with a huge Jesus freak on the weekends at my place of work. I have no problem with people that have religion, or want to talk it. Hell, half of the people I talk to on a regular basis are huge into their faith. But lets face it, there are limits, and it is always passed when these people feel like the only way you will ever see salvation is if they somehow save you. By PREACHING to you and at the end act like they are the only reason you have seen or understand what they just covered. Even if you've known about it since age 5.

sigh.

Thankfully, I no longer have to deal with this person, as the guard was swapped out for someone else. In this case, swapped out for someone who kicks 37 types and ways of ass. It's nice to deal with someone again that I can actually talk to without having to play it safe, can say whatever is on my mind, and we have a lot in common. Movies, music, games, no shame in talking about any part of our lives and laughing about it. You get the idea.

Of course, thanks to our easy to get along nature, some have mistaken our interactions. A few of the people at the site are curious when I'm going to ask her out (I'm looking at you John) or if we are dating,(you know who you are Maura), which isn't going to happen. Not because I don't like her. She's actually pretty hot, but it's a combination of her being with someone and she's 14 years younger then me. Yeah, don't ask me how I keep running into them and becoming friends, but I do and I'm not going to start complaining anytime soon. Yet, out of all the people that are misreading our interactions is our very own supervisor that I have the most curiosity and interest in.

Why I find this so obvious, curious and interesting? It wasn't until this weekend that he saw how we interacted with each other when he showed up to drop off a few things. He then came back later in my shift (to look for something) and for the first time in all the time I have known him, and at least two years of working at that site (we've known each other longer), he's asked about my relationship life.

So why now after all this time?

While he never came out and said it, it was clear he thought me and Erica might be hooking up, if not already hooked and toning it down for the work environment. The fun part of all this, and one of the reasons I'm even bringing it up here, is that for the fun of it we might just go for it. Not seriously mind you, but to mess with our Supervisor, cuz you know it will be fun as hell. The idea only passed by in a conversation and we really didn't decide on anything. We were having too much fun talking about everything else, but it would be fun to mess with his mind.

As for the title of this post, it actually has nothing to do with work, relationships, or made up ones to mess with peoples heads. Its about my writing. After finally getting past a few things, and have a good 'go to hell' moment, I'm back in the saddle of finishing off Misdirection. I really hope to have it done soon, as well as have it and a few of my short stories ready to be put up in podcast novel form before mid-February.

So here's to being back in the saddle! w00taga!

Funny of the Week Part 1.0: Jeff Dunham #003

Funny of the Week Part .5: Jeff Dunham #002

Funny of the Week: Garbage Man Flirt

The Other Inauguration Speech

Make your own at Inauguration Speech Generator. Mine was as follows:

My fellow Americans, today is a w00t day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "dream", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually pocket.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces dexterity and intelligence challenges like never before. Our economy is grave. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for women. Our healthcare system is headless. If your left ball sack is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a disembarrred lawyer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a chunky peanut butter. But swinging together we can right this ship, and set a course for Las Vegas.

Finally, I must thank my strange family, my comedy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Anarchists for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of dry humping the American people. Without your swinger efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Funny of the Week: Jeff Dunham #001

Until I can get the other things I want up ready, I'll let you all have a few laughs ^_^

Kinchan no Kasoh Taisho Strikes Again

Man, these guys seriously can do no wrong!

Best Sex Joke of 2008

Please excuse my childish nature for a second. Okay, I actually heard this joke after the New Years, but it was recorded in a podcast before Christmas, so I'm considering it the best joke I heard, sexually, in 2008. Here it goes:

What's the speed of sex?

68, because at 69 you have to run around.

Happy Huggin New Years

It’s a strange feeling, but I had originally intended to post on my blog again a week or so before Christmas, if not the week of. Yet, here I am a few weeks late and multiple months after my last real, non-video post. The sad fact behind it all is that I have been emotionally drained to the point that if you were to rest your finger on my shoulder, I’d probably fall over.

So say the least, the last few weeks has been a serious avalanche of bullshit that as of me typing this post, hasn’t exactly stopped. While there have been multiple factors that make up this current state, I think one of the biggest can be summed up in what I wanted to post, but kept myself from doing so. It is as follows:

My challenge to you is to find me a woman whose single reason to exist is to not tear out my heart and stomp on it and in return I will give you the secret to eternal life. I say this in the knowledge that no such woman exists.

Yeah, pretty strong words and ones I think expresses pretty damn well one of the problems. I’m also happy that these words were not expressed in the way I had originally intended. While I’m still feeling pretty damn burned, I hate to say something so over the top that every person that comes along the rest of my life feels like I won't give a shit.

Oddly enough, while I have been wallowing in this misery for a while, I didn’t realize how bad it was until I jumped over to my 360voice page and saw how many days in a row I have played video games. Now, I might average four or five days a week playing games, sometimes less with a couple hours to each of those days, but for the most part, I don’t touch them on the weekends anymore. Yet, here I am at twenty days straight. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I did seven in a row, let alone TWENTY!

The main reason I say this is not because games are a form of escapism for me, but a Grade A source of having fun and let’s face it, when you are down, you want to have fun! Yet, if you are so down that you spend every waking moment that you’re not at work or asleep playing games to make up for what you are missing in life … something is up. And boy, for me, something was up.

Looking back, I realized that I did that very thing. I was on my 360 almost non-stop over the past few weeks and if not playing games, I was streaming Netflix and when not doing that, I was playing Super Stardust portable on my PSP.

But the thing that gets me the most is how it has affected my plans with my current book, Misdirection. Originally, I was well on track to having it finished and paperwork completed (that being for copyright) before Christmas, so I could get it out to those who I wanted to share it with. Then, the next step would be preparing it for its podcast novel version that I wanted to start releasing the third week of January. Yet, here I am, the book isn’t finished and whenever I sit down to type two words, I can’t concentrate long enough to pull it off.

I don’t even want to tell you all how long it’s taking me to type this post up, it would blow you away.

Anyway, it’s safe to say my year has not started out well, and if the old saying is true, I’m not ready to face another bullshit year. I’ve had too many as it is and I need a break. So in closing, to all those that have gone out of their way to insure my new years are always the back end of a diarrhea laden mule, you can just go fuck yourself.

That felt pretty good.

EDIT: this was originally supposed to be posted the 4th, but for whatever reason, I saved it as a draft and didn't publish it. Ooops, so I swapped out the post date and let it go free.