14 Years and 14 Sleepless Nights
First of all, I'm extremely tired, so if any of this post doesn't make sense, blame it on the lack of sleep. Now, on with the show:
It's strange to think that soon it will have been exactly 14 years since Cerra died, and for the past 8 or so of those years, I have to keep wondering why my body cycle hasn't reset itself yet. I guess I should explain a few things real quick.
Cerra was the love of my life all those years ago and she was unfortunately taken away from me thanks to a incurable disease. What's worse, outside of her obviously dying on Valentines Day, it was also her birthday. This in itself can lead me to want to tlak about her view on this, but I'll skip[ it for now.
Since that time, I've found it impossible to fall asleep between February 13th and 14th. Why, I can't say. Well, maybe I could at first all those years ago, but it's not like she's exactly on my mind 24/7, and she sure wasn't on my mind tonight before I came to my realization. So, why can't I fall asleep?
What triggered my thought's about her this time was the fact that thanks to not being able to sleep, I started to read through Misdirection one more time ... just to make sure ... and when I came across the description of Jessica, it hit me. You see, I ended up basing her looks off of Cerra, knowingly, but it wasn't really until this time through that it stuck with me.
I hate to think my subconscious self will hold onto that day for the rest of my life. I like sleep too much for that one day to interfere. Yet, it makes me wonder why it holds on so strongly after all this time. Sure, I could probably give you a list, but its a list I never really think about unless it comes up. That's what confuses me. If she's really never on my mind, why does this always happen?
Bah, I'll just ramble on for two more paragraphs unless I stop myself. Just wanted to let my mind get this out before I try to fall back asleep ... hopefully successfully this time. I really don't want to make it 14 years is a row without sleep on the same day.
It's strange to think that soon it will have been exactly 14 years since Cerra died, and for the past 8 or so of those years, I have to keep wondering why my body cycle hasn't reset itself yet. I guess I should explain a few things real quick.
Cerra was the love of my life all those years ago and she was unfortunately taken away from me thanks to a incurable disease. What's worse, outside of her obviously dying on Valentines Day, it was also her birthday. This in itself can lead me to want to tlak about her view on this, but I'll skip[ it for now.
Since that time, I've found it impossible to fall asleep between February 13th and 14th. Why, I can't say. Well, maybe I could at first all those years ago, but it's not like she's exactly on my mind 24/7, and she sure wasn't on my mind tonight before I came to my realization. So, why can't I fall asleep?
What triggered my thought's about her this time was the fact that thanks to not being able to sleep, I started to read through Misdirection one more time ... just to make sure ... and when I came across the description of Jessica, it hit me. You see, I ended up basing her looks off of Cerra, knowingly, but it wasn't really until this time through that it stuck with me.
I hate to think my subconscious self will hold onto that day for the rest of my life. I like sleep too much for that one day to interfere. Yet, it makes me wonder why it holds on so strongly after all this time. Sure, I could probably give you a list, but its a list I never really think about unless it comes up. That's what confuses me. If she's really never on my mind, why does this always happen?
Bah, I'll just ramble on for two more paragraphs unless I stop myself. Just wanted to let my mind get this out before I try to fall back asleep ... hopefully successfully this time. I really don't want to make it 14 years is a row without sleep on the same day.
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