It’s a strange feeling, but I had originally intended to post on my blog again a week or so before Christmas, if not the week of. Yet, here I am a few weeks late and multiple months after my last real, non-video post. The sad fact behind it all is that I have been emotionally drained to the point that if you were to rest your finger on my shoulder, I’d probably fall over.
So say the least, the last few weeks has been a serious avalanche of bullshit that as of me typing this post, hasn’t exactly stopped. While there have been multiple factors that make up this current state, I think one of the biggest can be summed up in what I wanted to post, but kept myself from doing so. It is as follows:
So say the least, the last few weeks has been a serious avalanche of bullshit that as of me typing this post, hasn’t exactly stopped. While there have been multiple factors that make up this current state, I think one of the biggest can be summed up in what I wanted to post, but kept myself from doing so. It is as follows:
My challenge to you is to find me a woman whose single reason to exist is to not tear out my heart and stomp on it and in return I will give you the secret to eternal life. I say this in the knowledge that no such woman exists.
Yeah, pretty strong words and ones I think expresses pretty damn well one of the problems. I’m also happy that these words were not expressed in the way I had originally intended. While I’m still feeling pretty damn burned, I hate to say something so over the top that every person that comes along the rest of my life feels like I won't give a shit.
Oddly enough, while I have been wallowing in this misery for a while, I didn’t realize how bad it was until I jumped over to my 360voice page and saw how many days in a row I have played video games. Now, I might average four or five days a week playing games, sometimes less with a couple hours to each of those days, but for the most part, I don’t touch them on the weekends anymore. Yet, here I am at twenty days straight. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I did seven in a row, let alone TWENTY!
The main reason I say this is not because games are a form of escapism for me, but a Grade A source of having fun and let’s face it, when you are down, you want to have fun! Yet, if you are so down that you spend every waking moment that you’re not at work or asleep playing games to make up for what you are missing in life … something is up. And boy, for me, something was up.
Looking back, I realized that I did that very thing. I was on my 360 almost non-stop over the past few weeks and if not playing games, I was streaming Netflix and when not doing that, I was playing Super Stardust portable on my PSP.
But the thing that gets me the most is how it has affected my plans with my current book, Misdirection. Originally, I was well on track to having it finished and paperwork completed (that being for copyright) before Christmas, so I could get it out to those who I wanted to share it with. Then, the next step would be preparing it for its podcast novel version that I wanted to start releasing the third week of January. Yet, here I am, the book isn’t finished and whenever I sit down to type two words, I can’t concentrate long enough to pull it off.
Oddly enough, while I have been wallowing in this misery for a while, I didn’t realize how bad it was until I jumped over to my 360voice page and saw how many days in a row I have played video games. Now, I might average four or five days a week playing games, sometimes less with a couple hours to each of those days, but for the most part, I don’t touch them on the weekends anymore. Yet, here I am at twenty days straight. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I did seven in a row, let alone TWENTY!
The main reason I say this is not because games are a form of escapism for me, but a Grade A source of having fun and let’s face it, when you are down, you want to have fun! Yet, if you are so down that you spend every waking moment that you’re not at work or asleep playing games to make up for what you are missing in life … something is up. And boy, for me, something was up.
Looking back, I realized that I did that very thing. I was on my 360 almost non-stop over the past few weeks and if not playing games, I was streaming Netflix and when not doing that, I was playing Super Stardust portable on my PSP.
But the thing that gets me the most is how it has affected my plans with my current book, Misdirection. Originally, I was well on track to having it finished and paperwork completed (that being for copyright) before Christmas, so I could get it out to those who I wanted to share it with. Then, the next step would be preparing it for its podcast novel version that I wanted to start releasing the third week of January. Yet, here I am, the book isn’t finished and whenever I sit down to type two words, I can’t concentrate long enough to pull it off.
I don’t even want to tell you all how long it’s taking me to type this post up, it would blow you away.
Anyway, it’s safe to say my year has not started out well, and if the old saying is true, I’m not ready to face another bullshit year. I’ve had too many as it is and I need a break. So in closing, to all those that have gone out of their way to insure my new years are always the back end of a diarrhea laden mule, you can just go fuck yourself.
That felt pretty good.
EDIT: this was originally supposed to be posted the 4th, but for whatever reason, I saved it as a draft and didn't publish it. Ooops, so I swapped out the post date and let it go free.
Anyway, it’s safe to say my year has not started out well, and if the old saying is true, I’m not ready to face another bullshit year. I’ve had too many as it is and I need a break. So in closing, to all those that have gone out of their way to insure my new years are always the back end of a diarrhea laden mule, you can just go fuck yourself.
That felt pretty good.
EDIT: this was originally supposed to be posted the 4th, but for whatever reason, I saved it as a draft and didn't publish it. Ooops, so I swapped out the post date and let it go free.
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